“Wives, you must submit to your husbands.”
I wonder if Becky heard those words as she sat in her SBC church. By his own admission, her husband had slapped her a few times, no more than 4 or 5. At least that is how many times he admitted to in the deposition just before his trial. “I love my wife,” he said, and “slapped her only seldom” during their 15 year marriage.
He even went to church with her on occasion. Before he killed her, that is. Even before he had burned down their house and had received a big insurance payment and bought some land with a pond and some other stuff.
It took 6 years before justice finally came for Becky on March 10, 2010. For years her death was classified as undetermined.
It was a Saturday and Becky had been washing windows on her day off as a letter carrier. Her mother called her to go shopping with her. She got home about 6:30 p.m. Her husband arrived shortly afterwards and he ordered pizza delivered. Suddenly he had to leave to check on something. According to him, when he returned he found Becky floating in a pond in their pasture. “Startled by a snake and fell in” was his explanation. Problem is, bodies don’t float in 30 minutes. He would have had to found her after searching the bottom of the pond, and not the surface.
“Husbands, you must allow your wife to submit to you, because by doing so, she is submitting to Christ.”
A letter carrier can have quite a bit of insurance. He tried to claim the insurance, but the family knew someone who worked for a lawyer, and they brought in a patent attorney. Great story how a patent attorney won the civil suit. Meanwhile, there was a reclassification and it was decided that Becky was murdered, and her husband was the prime suspect.
On their website, her church provides a link to the Baptist Faith and Message 2000.
The husband and wife are of equal worth before God, since both are created in God’s image. The marriage relationship models the way God relates to His people. A husband is to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He has the God-given responsibility to provide for, to protect, and to lead his family. A wife is to submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband even as the church willingly submits to the headship of Christ. She, being in the image of God as is her husband and thus equal to him, has the God-given responsibility to respect her husband and to serve as his helper in managing the household and nurturing the next generation.
What if there is no servant leadership of her husband? What if he is planning to kill her and hopes to receive a big payout in insurance money? How do you know when the God-given responsibility to respect the husband is null and void? Just before you are murdered?
Her church named their food pantry after Becky. That made her parents happy. Her father is a deacon in a nearby SBC church. I went to school with her mother.
A greater tribute to Becky would have been to reword the BF&M 2000 to say: “Husbands and wives have a God-given responsibility to respect, nurture, and care for each other.”
“You wouldn’t give yourself a black eye, so don’t give her one.” (Eph 5:28a Shirley’s translation)
Pastors, there is a consequence to what you are teaching from the pulpit. The wives must submit attitude is taught in the churches and bleeds out into society and affects every woman whether they go to church or not.
Both quotes above are what pastors in my town preached from their pulpit. Pastors, you are teaching that every woman has to graciously submit to her husband. Who determines if the husband is providing servant leadership? Who came up with the sentence “submit herself graciously to the servant leadership of her husband.” Don’t you know that excludes a whole bunch of husbands? Don’t you know that those words are not in the Bible?
Join us as we learn how men and women can scripturally be equal in the church and in the home. Where you will find no “equal-buts” of the BF&M 2000. Meet me at the CBE Houston Conference on April 27-28, 2012.