Promise Keepers is coming to Arlington in July. I knew as soon as I received the email from one of its promoters that this conversation was not going to be one he was expecting. As it turned out, it was not one I was expecting either.
I wrote back and said that we do not have a men’s ministry leader as all of our ministries are open to both men and women.
He sent a kind response and repeated that Promise Keepers has an upcoming conference specifically geared for men and he was curious if we would be interested and who is the best person to speak with regarding future correspondence.
Not expecting a reply, but grateful nevertheless, I wrote back.
“You seem really nice, but you are talking to the wrong person. I know about Promise Keepers and what they believe. I have written 3 books advocating for equality of men and women in Christian service and in their own homes. There is no way I will send anybody to your conference that promotes male headship.
I want men to be godly. I want women to have those same opportunities and not be shut out by her church. I want women to know that when they walk inside their church the church sees them as equals, with equal responsibilities and blessings.
Having been a Baptist for 55 years, I know that when a family joins a Baptist church, the men and the boys have no restrictions on their membership, while the wife’s and the girl’s memberships comes with built-in restrictions.”
His reply surprised me. “I truly appreciate you taking the time to read and respond to my emails. Thank you for taking the time to share some of your past with me. I completely understand that many have taken the few sentences that say “wives be submissive” and used them as permission to lord over their wives, while completely overlooking the multiple paragraphs that say “husbands, love your wives like Christ loves the church.” I have seen this type of behavior far too much. I pray that God continues to bless us both as we seek to draw closer to Him and be the change that brings Him honor and glory.”
That reminded me of a vacation cruise where I was talking to a young man. I had explained what my books are about. His father (from Oklahoma) joined in and said, “Our pastor says we are head of our wives but we are not to lord it over them.” Well, I had heard that before. I told the father that the pastor was telling him that he had headship, and that my books explains why he doesn’t.”
The simple, unvarnished truth is that there is no reason God would share his headship with males on earth. It is like putting the fox in charge of the henhouse.
Dethroning Male Headship: 2nd Ed.
Women Equal – No Buts: Powered by the same Source
Raising the Hood: A Christian Look at Manhood and Womanhood