John Piper, who, along with Paige Patterson, founded the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood, and who is quoted extensively in the pulpit, says this about women submitting to abuse in their marriage:
“She may have to endure being smacked and then she goes to the church and the church will deal with it.” (Does a woman submit to abuse?)
Piper does not mention going to the police. The church will deal with it, he says. Maybe with Sharia Law, the religious body deals with it. Maybe in the Mormon church, they will deal with it. But no church that I know of has the power or authority to deal with domestic problems. And I bet you anything, Piper doesn’t know of one that has the authority either. I wonder how many wives went to his church when their husbands “smacked” them.
John Piper gives a titillating story of a husband asking his wife to join in group sex in that same 4 minute youtube, Does a woman submit to abuse? He says that if a husband asks his wife to engage in group sex, she cannot submit to him because she has a greater obligation to submit to Christ and this would not be pleasing to Christ. So she says something like:
“Honey, I want so much to follow your leadership as God calls me to do that. It would be sweet for me if I could enjoy your leadership. But I can’t go there.”
Notice that there is no condemnation for a husband who would ask his wife to engage in group sex, but, instead, an explanation is issued of how she can continue to honor and obey such a man who would lead her into sin. He remains her leader even though he has just attempted to lead her into immorality.
Complementarians claim they do not want women to be doormats, but it is not these teachers of the law who are actually living in those marriages. If a husband wants his wife to be a doormat, she will be a doormat. That is what the submission doctrine is about—freedom and monarchy for husbands, but limits, servitude, obedience and bondage, if the husband so decrees, for wives.
If the husband in Piper’s example decides his wife shall engage in group sex, she will engage in group sex. Even if she used Piper’s syrupy words to excuse herself from participating in sin, if her husband believes he has the right to force her to submit to him in everything, she must comply or face the consequences. According to Bruce Ware, if the wife does not submit to her husband, it is understandable to complementarians (because men are sinners, Ware said) when the husband beats her for non-submission.
We will discuss Bruce Ware in Domino 3
Ruth Tucker knows John Piper personally. Recommended reading “Black and White Bible, Black and Blue Wife : My Story of Finding Hope after Domestic Abuse” by Ruth A. Tucker
A Cry for Justice (John Piper is living in a parallel universe, says Ruth Tucker in interview)
From my book Dethroning Male Headship: Second Edition