“Our little family was a complete mess” but that was not what the author said in her sit-down debate with Dr. John Piper in 1995 at Wheaton College during their debate of whether a marriage should be based on a model of mutual submission and equality or on a model of male headship.
Her husband was a pastor and he beat the hell out of her while quoting scripture “to defend his headship and to enforce my unconditional obligation to submit- from ‘the kitchen to the bedroom.’”
Ruth A. Tucker tells her story in her most recent book black and white bible, black and blue wife (Publisher Zondervan). This book is a must read for pastors and congregation. When reading her book, you will learn some valuable lessons: 1) don’t expect the truth to be told during counseling, or on a stage where people are looking at you and when you must not show weakness; 2) don’t expect women – even pastor’s wives – to admit to their husband’s abuse as it took Tucker over 40 years before she told the world about it; 3) you will learn that male headship means that he makes and enforces the rules.
There is a line in the movie Casablanca “round up the usual suspects.” That is exactly what Ruth A Tucker does in this book. The book begins with Dr. John Piper and the debate over submission versus equality. Bruce Ware is quoted in this story, as is Russell D. Moore, Paige Patterson, and the Baptist Faith and Message 2000.
It is never easy reading about abuse but it necessary. It is necessary that the victims tell their story that could never be told while they were living in fear of their lives. When I was telling Ruth’s story to my husband, he said “That is an awful picture and I wish you had not told me.” It is awful to read, but it is something that many women go through every day. We owe it to them to read their story.
Ruth A Tucker tells her story interspersed with parallels from the scriptures. She is a bible scholar and teacher, but that does not get in the way, making this a very readable book and one that should be made available to churches, public libraries, and in Christian bookstores.
It will be interesting to see if Zondervan puts this book in Christian bookstores.
The book promo says “Through careful reflection on biblical, theological, historical, and contemporary issues surrounding domestic violence, black and white bible, black and blue wife offers hope for those caught in a cycle of domestic violence and suggests ways to overcome the devastation it leaves behind.”
It is 2016. Read this book and see what male headship can do to a family. Give this book to your pastor so he can see. Donate the book to your Friends of the Library to be sold so someone can find the book. In this way, you can help women who are suffering from abuse.