Until recently I had no idea why many Baptists and other fundamental Christians believe that husbands will account for their wives before God. Of course there is no scripture to back it up, and nothing by Jesus suggests such a responsibility or honor to be given to husbands.
It was a 16 year old boy who was challenging me in a Baptist church when I had the aha moment “That is where they are getting it!”
Let’s see what the scripture actually says and you determine if men will give account before God for their wives.
God said “Adam, where are you?” Silence from Adam as he and Eve hunker down beneath a fig tree. Finally Adam says, “I heard you but I was afraid and I was naked. The woman you put here with me, she gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.” Try to find where Adam, from the time he was formed, demonstrated any spiritual responsibility. Eve did, though. She admitted to God, “The serpent deceived me and I ate.” Repentance. She did not blame Adam for not showing spiritual responsibility. She did not say that his loving, humble headship did not rise to the occasion.
Because Eve was a strong woman, one who shouldered the responsibility and repented of the sin, the church has used this against her ever since. Eve took charge. That is the distortion they are talking about. Men are to model themselves after Adam who ratted out his wife, hid with her, and acted like she was something that God had foisted upon him.
They want us to believe that Eve’s sin inclines women to resist being limited in their “roles.” They are worried that women might want to use their spiritual gifts of leadership in preaching and pastoring. Their attitude is a bunch of hogwash that diminishes both men and women. This teaching diminishes men by not holding them accountable for their actions (like Adam’s), and diminishes women by telling them that they cannot stand up and give spiritual leadership (like Eve did).*
God did call Adam to account – for himself. Just as he called Eve to account for herself. “But the Lord God called out to the man, “Where are you?” (Gen 3:8) and then God turns to Eve, “The Lord God asked the woman, “Why did you do this?”
See, I told you it wasn’t there. God did not call Adam to account for his wife, only to account for himself. Just as we today will have to account for ourselves.
If you are tired of being told that your husband has to account to God for you, then join me in speaking up.
*from my book “Dethroning Male Headship”