A local newspaper touts a marriage ministry that is inviting pastors to their open house. Lots of marriages are in trouble and often we look to the church for the fix. Pastors are busy and they have heard the same story over and over and they, too, are looking for a quick fix and will send couples to this so-called marriage ministry.
The promoter of this ministry is male headship. We know this by the words he chooses to use. Whenever you see such words as ‘Mighty Marriage,’ you know this is giving the marriage to the husband. This panders to men. Most women do not want a mighty marriage. This man was quoted as saying “We are called to take a stand against the forces in our culture that seek to destroy biblical marriages and families.”
Whenever anyone uses these words, they are using code words to say that men are to rule the house and family, and that husbands are to rule over their wives. The wives become the oldest female children in the family with bedroom responsibilities.
These seminars are harmful to families and to the culture. Spend some time looking at movies made in the 1940s. Notice how many times men slap women and talk about spanking them. Notice how grown women are controlled by their fathers in matters of marriage and career. This is where they want us to go, and they claim the Bible tells us so.
My friend’s second marriage was to a man who was immersed in a male headship church (a large Baptist church). At first I heard words of how wonderful this man was, how precious he treated her. Then the story began to change. He started telling her that they would not have problems if she would follow his leadership and he began quoting male headship teaching to her. This marriage ended in divorce.
Strong marriages are not made by weakening women. Strong marriages are not made by men ruling over their families. One does not need to be made weak for the other to be strong, but in male headship families, women are made submissive and weak. A family needs a strong mother and a strong father to raise their children, and to take care of each other in their old age.
What a sad state we are in when pastors and preachers promote female subjugation.
Why do women put up with it?
I want you to read “The Pearl That Broke Its Shell” by Nadia Hashimi (William Morrow, an Imprint of HarperCollins Publishers 2014).It is a story by an Afghanistanian women and is about marriage. Hashimi ends the story with these words, “To the daughters of Afghanistan, may the sun warm your faces as you forge your paths.”
Those are also my words to my Christian sisters. “May the Son warm your faces as you break through your shell.”
It is up to you. What will you do?