Want a Mighty Marriage or a Strong Marriage

A local newspaper touts a marriage ministry that is inviting pastors to their open house. Lots of marriages are in trouble and often we look to the church for the fix. Pastors are busy and they have heard the same story over and over and they, too, are looking for a quick fix and will send couples to this so-called marriage ministry.

The promoter of this ministry is male headship. We know this by the words he chooses to use. Whenever you see such words as ‘Mighty Marriage,’ you know this is giving the marriage to the husband. This panders to men. Most women do not want a mighty marriage. This man was quoted as saying “We are called to take a stand against the forces in our culture that seek to destroy biblical marriages and families.”

Whenever anyone uses these words, they are using code words to say that men are to rule the house and family, and that husbands are to rule over their wives. The wives become the oldest female children in the family with bedroom responsibilities.

These seminars are harmful to families and to the culture. Spend some time looking at movies made in the 1940s. Notice how many times men slap women and talk about spanking them. Notice how grown women are controlled by their fathers in matters of marriage and career. This is where they want us to go, and they claim the Bible tells us so.

My friend’s second marriage was to a man who was immersed in a male headship church (a large Baptist church). At first I heard words of how wonderful this man was, how precious he treated her. Then the story began to change. He started telling her that they would not have problems if she would follow his leadership and he began quoting male headship teaching to her. This marriage ended in divorce.

Strong marriages are not made by weakening women. Strong marriages are not made by men ruling over their families. One does not need to be made weak for the other to be strong, but in male headship families, women are made submissive and weak. A family needs a strong mother and a strong father to raise their children, and to take care of each other in their old age.

What a sad state we are in when pastors and preachers promote female subjugation.

Why do women put up with it?

I want you to read “The Pearl That Broke Its Shell” by Nadia Hashimi (William Morrow, an Imprint of HarperCollins Publishers 2014).It is a story by an Afghanistanian women and is about marriage. Hashimi ends the story with these words, “To the daughters of Afghanistan, may the sun warm your faces as you forge your paths.”

Those are also my words to my Christian sisters. “May the Son warm your faces as you break through your shell.”

It is up to you. What will you do?

About bwebaptistwomenforequality

Shirley Taylor writes with humor and common sense, challenging the church body to reclaim equality for Christian women.
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4 Responses to Want a Mighty Marriage or a Strong Marriage

  1. Jean says:

    I am trying to break out of my shell. I drank the poison of “Me?Obey Him?” while married to a man who I now realize has High Functioning Autism. He has never grown up because I thought I needed to submit to his cluelessness. He not only was unable to lead, he didn’t care. But I thought I could ‘win him over.’


    • Welcome! Glad you joined us! You are among many friends who have found out that their husbands were unqualified to lead. The funny thing is that the scripture quoted that says for wives to submit, makes no exceptions for husbands who are unqualified to lead. It say flatly to submit to your husband. But those who teach that we should submit, find all kinds of exceptions when they are challenged. They will say “redeemed” husbands. But the Bible doesn’t quality that. They will say not to submit to an “abuser” (some say to submit to an abuser). But the bible does not qualify. They are so determined that we submit, but then they add their own little qualifiers.

      They should look to what Jesus said and did. They should look to the meaning of the gospel.

      Jesus never told women to submit to their husbands. Jesus never told men that women were to submit to them. Jesus never told men that he was commissioning them to be his representatives after his ascension.

      I encourage you to read my two books “Women Equal – No Buts: Powered by the same Source” and “Dethroning Male Headship.” I think you will enjoy reading both of them.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. pnissila says:

    Shirley! Whoa! Excellent post and comment!

    You bring up so many good points it’s hard to know which one is the best. That said, the series of “Jesus never told….” is particularly powerful.

    I just finished a post on the metaphor Jesus used equating the end of this age with “birth pangs”. One of my points is that sometimes the experience of something gives much more insight than information only. I chuckled all the way through it re: a complementarian male who would not in all honesty be able to refute this. Not that women are more superior than men just because we give birth, but the fact that this is something only women, really, can teach on with exquisite specificity ;).

    Of course, I suppose the headship brigade wouldn’t read this for fear it is a teaching by a, gasp, mere woman! lol.


    • Thanks, my dear friend! When I first began this ministry I told a pastor who contacted me that we are all in a rut and argue the same points over and over. We can’t get out of that rut, but until we do get out, we will never get anywhere. I try to stay out of the rut. I seldom argue the main 3 verses they want to argue. I try to stick to Jesus, and through His words and actions, he said plenty. Thanks again.

      Liked by 1 person

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