SBC Baptists are afraid. They are afraid that if they allow women to be deacons then the cork in the bottle will pop out and women will feminize the church, lesbian preachers will be in every pulpit, husbands and wives teams will head every church, and the denomination will no longer be Baptist as we know it.
A church that is a Southern Baptist Convention church (SBC) is autonomous. They usually are affiliated with their local association, their state convention and the SBC. But at every step, the local church stands alone and legally makes it own decisions. These decisions generally fall lock step into what the SBC wants it to.
The Baptist Faith and Message 2000 does not say that a woman cannot be a deacon. What it says is that the office of pastor is limited to men as qualified by Scripture.
A New Testament church of the Lord Jesus Christ is an autonomous local congregation of baptized believers, associated by covenant in the faith and fellowship of the gospel; observing the two ordinances of Christ, governed by His laws, exercising the gifts, rights, and privileges invested in them by His Word, and seeking to extend the gospel to the ends of the earth. Each congregation operates under the Lordship of Christ through democratic processes. In such a congregation each member is responsible and accountable to Christ as Lord. Its scriptural officers are pastors and deacons. While both men and women are gifted for service in the church, the office of pastor is limited to men as qualified by Scripture.
But is almost a universal guarantee that if a church is SBC, it will not have women deacons. Even if that church also is affiliated with the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship (CBF) which embraces women as pastors, the church will not have women deacons.
Deacons are the cork in the bottle.
Keep women from being deacons, and your church will remain fully, purely SBC.
Keep women from being deacons, and your church will wither and die as the SBC has no vision, little love for over one half its congregation, and seeks to keep its women and churches locked into a time frame where women had no voice.
If you are tired of being a cork, speak up. The Southern Baptist Convention will benefit from women being able to serve as deacsons in their church. The churches themselves make the decision what kind of pastor they will have. Believe me, there are not enough lesbian women pastors to go around, so it doubtful that your church would have one. That is just a red herring that the SBC throws out to keep churches and the congregation from allowing women to be deacons.
Tell your pastor, tell your associational Director of Missions, tell the executive director at your state convention and tell the president of SBC, Bryant Wright, that you will no longer be a cork in the bottle.