The shoe on the other foot

While working for BGCT, one of the employees in the Dallas office had to leave her position and move with her husband several states away because he was the pastor and had been called to a new church.  That is a familiar story with pastor’s wives.  Many wives were school teachers and it seemed that they could move and find a job in the new city where they would be serving.  A local pastor’s wife is a CPA and involved in a ministry dear to her heart and I imagine she prays every night that they will not be called elsewhere.

But what if the pastor is a woman?

My blog of the other day “Time for a change?” got the attention of someone  and he clicked the ‘like’ button.  So I trotted over to his blog to see who he was and why he might have liked this story.  I still don’t know his name, but he is the spouse of a minister! He is on posting #3 which is called “I am a Paulian?” – married to the minister #3Below is an except from his first post about this on January 18.

It’s just one of those things apparently, a sort of ‘Buy One, Get One Free’ deal where the wife or other one is there in a supporting role, like Robin to Batman or Kevin Bond to Harry Redknapp.

But there are problems, especially if you set on the journey and find that the scenery changes dramatically along route.

It is not as simple as someone training for a certain job while the other half leads their life.

For Christians the church and what goes on there is the most important thing about life on this earth.

So what to do if your marriage, faith, struggles, job, vocation, community, life all somehow become tangled up in what your wife does for a living, if your minister is your wife and your wife your minister?

Who is that person giving the sermon on a Sunday morning? Your wife or your minister?

How do you respond to the sermon?

Apparently he lives in Ireland and they are Presbyterians.  I got a kick out of this and I hope you will too, as we look at the situation from the male spouse of a woman pastor.

Across the water, we will join hands as we welcome women to the ministry.  Will you pray with me that someday we don’t just find this an amusing story, and that men and women both answer our Lord’s calling and work together in the best way they can for the Kingdom?

About bwebaptistwomenforequality

Shirley Taylor writes with humor and common sense, challenging the church body to reclaim equality for Christian women.
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4 Responses to The shoe on the other foot

  1. Kristen says:

    Good website. I like his new post #4, where he talks about objections to women in ministry.


  2. canalways says:

    hi there Shirly…thanks…yeah, I’m married to a minister (trainee) and it can be hard to find stuff about women in ministry so I’ve been surfing through some WordPress blogs the past week(which is why I ended up here) I’m maybe not a great example as I’ve been working through some stuff with faith as well as other stuff so I might be saying things that are wrong,….normally I just put drawings and stuff up on the blog but this week I’ve been really thinking about this stuff…it is interesting when the shoe is on the other foot though and in a way I’m glad I’m going through it as it gives an insight to what has naturally been expected of the traditional minister’s spouse:)


    • Welcome! I was hoping to hear from you. As you can see from my website, I am advocating complete equality for women – whether that means as a pastor, street preacher, deacon, priests, and in all ways based upon gifts, training, calling and not upon gender. That comes with a price. It means that spouses of these women ministers don’t fit into the norm that is prescribed for spouses today. I found it interesting to read your finding your way.

      Faith is a struggle for many people and your honesty in talking about it can be of help to those who would not expect to hear such thoughts from a minister’s spouse. God bless you for sharing.

      By the way, on March 28, 2012, there will be a Prayer Walk and all we are asking is that people step outside their homes and pray for women’s equality. Of course, if you or your wife would like to actually sponsor a walk, that would be great. If I could ask you to give a message to your pastor, it would be to ask others to pray for women’s equality.

      Stop by again! We have enjoyed meeting you.


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