Distorting the Word of God about Marriage


Read this drivel below.  It is by a preacher by the name of Doug Wilson.  This past week I received a link to something his wife wrote – which I will not share with you because I don’t want to perpetuate anything they have written – about the joys of marriage. So this couple is still being pushed out into the internet as some kind of experts on marriage.

Read this short review of the book Reforming Marriage by Doug Wilson.

“A husband must always remember that as a husband he is a living picture of the Lord Jesus. This remembrance is his first duty in marriage. Since, as a husband, a man is speaking constantly about the Lord’s relationship to His people, he ought to seek to speak truthfully as well. The way the man treats his wife will determine whether he is speaking the truth about Christ or not. But he does not have the option of remaining silent; he is speaking all the time. This is because the Lord is a husband, and all husbands are therefore a representative of Him.” (Doug Wilson in Reforming Marriage, p. 42).”

How many times do I have to repeat this?  I guess I have to keep repeating it as long as such drivel as the above is spread out to unsuspecting women and preached about by pastors who don’t know what they are talking about.

So here goes.  You all know it and you can say it together with me.  The apostle Paul is not writing a Marriage Manual.  He is doing one thing and that one thing is trying to explain to a group of people who and what Christ is, and he is doing it by using an illustration of a man’s marriage.  The women understood.  This is the way it was for them.

The apostle Paul tells them that this is the way it is with Christ and His church.  He bought the church with his blood.  He loves the church, he takes care of the church.  The church, in turn, submits to His will and there is a love relationship between the church and Christ.

Men are not the living picture of Jesus.  Women are not the living picture of mankind.

Why would they be?  Does Christ need a living picture of himself on earth?  I can guarantee that if He did, he would not choose every husband to be his representative.  There is no scripture that says that we need it.  This is like all the elves that are supposed to be helping Santa Claus at Christmastime.  A fairy tale.  But a dangerous fairy tale.

Jesus sent the Holy Spirit, not a holy man.

It puts too much a burden on the men to be the representative of Christ, and it puts too much responsibility on the wife to be the representative of mankind.

Hogwash!  What garbage these people continue to perpetuate upon us.

Won’t you join me in speaking up whenever you encounter such drivel as this?


About bwebaptistwomenforequality

Shirley Taylor writes with humor and common sense, challenging the church body to reclaim equality for Christian women.
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6 Responses to Distorting the Word of God about Marriage

  1. Cindy says:

    Preach it, Shirley!

    Wilson has some outright miserable things to say about wives as well as other doctrines. My husband laughed hysterically one day when he saw “Reforming Marriage” in the trash. He asked me why I didn’t feel the need to tear it up, and I said that it wasn’t worth that much consideration. The trash would serve just fine.

    His wife has a book as well, and I’m told by women that her writings were a type of gateway into patriarchy for them. I think that his wife shows some sincere and genuine Christian character, but I agree that it doesn’t warrant promoting these folks at all. In that sense, her writings are more dangerous than the more ascerbic and obvious ones in that particular genre of patriarchal neo-Confederate folk religion. Theirs is an excellent example of what Jocelyn Anderson calls slave-holding Christianity and the gender-based, evangelical caste system (in her book, Woman this is War).


  2. Retha says:

    Amen! It can be compared to Hosea 2:16: In that day, declares the LORD, you will call me ‘my husband’; you will no longer call me ‘my master.’

    It’s about God wanting to love, not man having to lead.


  3. Kristen says:

    Here are some comments I made on another blog that are appropriate here:

    There seems to be a really backward idea of what Paul was really saying in Ephesians 5, that is pervasive in Christianity. Marriage is supposed to be a “picture” of Christ and the church. Therefore, men are supposed to be a “picture” of Christ and women of the church.

    But the way Paul sets up the metaphor, this is backwards. The relationship of Christ with the church is supposed to be the “picture” that we look at in trying to make our marriages look like that. And the picture we are supposed to see was a particularly appropriate picture for married people in 1st-century Ephesus: the one in the higher position descending to “give himself up” in order to raise the one in the lower position up to be “glorious.”

    Instead we seem to think our marriages are “pictures” for non-believers to look at and be reminded of Christ and the church. That is not what Paul was saying at all, nor is it logical in the least. No matter how much we try to follow Christ in our marriages, they are always going to be but a poor picture. And then we take the opposite image than the one Paul presents: rather than the powerful one stooping to raise up the lowlier one, we think of the powerful receiving the service and obedience of the lowlier one. Again, this is not what Paul said.

    I might also add that when unbelievers do look at our marriages, the last thing on their minds is, “Wow, this is a picture of the way Christ relates to the church!” What they are thinking is, “This marriage is a picture of how Christians think men and women are to relate to one another.” And if they see one in authority while the other obeys– they’re going to turn away in disgust from our religion. They’re already doing so.


  4. Lydia says:

    Does Doug forget he is a “bride”? :o)


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