Sugar Coated Submission

Back in June, I sent about 90 letters to pastors of Baptist General Convention of Texas churches.  I didn’t expect much, and I got less. 

My intent was to herald that something was coming.  What I knew and what they didn’t know, was that I would be presenting a Demand for An Apology from the Council on Biblical Manhood and Biblical Womanhood at a convention in Florida.

This week I revisited some of those churches websites. 

I found one pastor’s sermon on their website.  It was a Father’s Day sermon, June 20.  My letter to this pastor was dated June 7.

1 Peter 3 was the passage for his Father’s Day sermon. 

He said “I love that 1 Peter passage.”  Now why do you think he loves this passage?    Why would a pastor love a submission passage?

Out of his 30 minute message on Father’s Day, he spent the first 16 minutes telling wives how wonderful they are and that a marriage is a partnership, but that she was created by God for her role, and that she must willingly submit to her husband.  Not because the husband demands it, but because God demands it.  He then read from Ephesians that husbands are to love their wives. The last 14 minutes was reinforcing the first 16.

These are direct quotes from his sermon:

  • In order for them to honor God, they have to submit  (he was telling husbands this about their wife’s role)
  • The ground at the cross is level (how can it be level if the wife has to submit)
  • He knows a guy that gives his wife a list of things to do and when he gets home, he checks the list
  • God made men to be rough and tough and He made woman to be nurturing
  • Women want their men to be men
  • His pastor gave him this advice when he got married “make her queen of your house, and she will break her neck to make you King.
  • Who’s going to wear the pants in your family?
  • The feminists want to wear the pants
  • When families follow these scriptures they are less likely to get divorced

Interspersed throughout all these sentences, he was sugar-coating the submission thing.  Women are not to submit because they have to, he said, but because as a loving wife who is doing God’s will, she will want to.  She is not to be a door mat.  In fact, he brought in an actual doormat to show how dirty and trampled a door mat is. 

When your pastor tells you that “In order for you to honor God, you have to submit to your husband,” all the sugar in the world can’t cover up an ugly concept that has been fostered on women.  The scriptures do not tell us that. 1 Peter 3 certainly does not tell us that. Read it for yourself. See if you can find what he said in those scriptures.  We’ve written on this many times and will again.

This pastor demonstrated his fear of the dreaded “feminists” after he got my letter on the week before Father’s Day, and he had to get his church under control, so they would not be influenced by the heretical teaching of female equality.

I don’t think it was a coincidence that he preached this sermon on Father’s Day after he got my letter. 

My son laughed at me when I told him this story, and said that the women in that church would not thank me.  That I caused their pastor to hammer home wife’s submission. 

Yes, but my experience is that women do not like to hear these kinds of sermons, and while he thinks he corralled them again, there are some who will slip from that corral to freedom.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said: 

I shot an arrow into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For, so swiftly it flew, the sight
Could not follow it in its flight.
I breathed a song into the air,
It fell to earth, I knew not where;
For who has sight so keen and strong,
That it can follow the flight of song?
Long, long afterward, in an oak
I found the arrow, still unbroke;
And the song, from beginning to end,
I found again in the heart of a friend.

I am preparing a new Newsletter to send to those churches.  Another arrow to shoot into the air.

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About bwebaptistwomenforequality

Shirley Taylor writes with humor and common sense, challenging the church body to reclaim equality for Christian women.
This entry was posted in Apostle Paul clarified, Do Baptists Really Believe That?, Male Headship fallacy, Marriage, Scriptures explained and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Sugar Coated Submission

  1. chaidrinkingfool says:

    “The ground at the cross is level”? Really? I continue to be surprised by the way that folks who believe that God limits women seek to limit God: ALL ground is at the foot of the cross. Therefore… 😉

    “When families follow these scriptures they are less likely to get divorced”. What source was cited for this information? None, right? It disgusts/scares me the amount of power preachers are granted by virtue of merely holding that position. So many people will believe the things that they say, simply because they are standing there.

    I’m not meaning to deny value in education. As I watched my former church fall hard into pushing soft, soft complementarianism, and watched people nod as the pastor spouted stereotypes from the pulpit , I’ve come to a greater appreciation of the idea of not having a pastor as such. Sorry to get off track: I do still believe in working to educate the pastors who *are* there and who are teaching hierarchal complementarianism.

    Like

  2. EricW says:

    Between this Website and Christa Brown’s book This Little Light

    http://stopbaptistpredators.blogspot.com/

    http://stopbaptistpredators.org/index.htm

    it’s time to resurrect this 1960’s-era poster

    with a new message:

    “Baptist Churches are not healthy for women and children and other living things”

    Like

  3. I’d be tempted to send the newsletter to the pastor’s wife myself.

    That would be my way to wiggle in a bit of what they call feminist ‘Consciousness-Raising’. Its not a feminist concept, but they think it is.

    If you look at the surface of this? They are afraid women are going to ‘take away’ something they claim God gave to them. Never knew women were that powerful that we could ‘over rule’ God in that manner. Its so bizarre that not one of them put that together.

    Like

  4. territippins says:

    (1)In order for them to honor God, they have to submit (he was telling husbands this about their wife’s role)

    Well, the first quote was subtly directing husbands to make sure that thier wives submit (to assure that that thier wives are honoring God proper) 😉

    (2)
    The ground at the cross is level (how can it be level if the wife has to submit)

    Thats’s a nice thing to say and a broad statment. I have been in church all my life. When people used that phrase they were talking about Salvation.

    (3)He knows a guy that gives his wife a list of things to do and when he gets home, he checks the list

    Well, he says something nice and then comes behind it with a statement like that. He’s commending the guy/husband for treating his wife like a slave that he gives orders to and she follows. These two guys must be good freinds (He is probably an elder in his church) 😉

    (4) God made men to be rough and tough and He made woman to be nurturing

    Where did God say that in the Bible?

    (5)Women want their men to be men

    Yeah, I married a man but I did not marry a chest thumping gorilla. Some Women have totally fallen for that Cinderlla/Prince charming bit. I see alot of Cinderella’s but not to many prince charmings (gender role indoctrination) eh 😉

    (6)His pastor gave him this advice when he got married “make her queen of your house, and she will break her neck to make you King

    Makes no sense to me. How can he make her a queen if he is’nt already a King? 😕

    (7)Who’s going to wear the pants in your family

    Ok men, your the real boss. Don’t fall for this we are equal partners crap.

    (8)The feminists want to wear the pants

    yeah, why not. Feminists get blamed for war, the condition of church and society. If it’s not *penis envy* it will be *pants envy* i suppose 😕

    (9)When families follow these scriptures they are less likely to get divorced

    It’s real easy make a sweeping comment like that, but we need to see some sorta proof. Are we supposed to take your word for it? These guys……:)

    Like

  5. EricW says:

    My morning response got hung up in moderation due to too many links, I suspect.

    Or maybe it was because I was really mean in what I said! 🙂

    Like

  6. EricW says:

    I’ve come to a greater appreciation of the idea of not having a pastor as such.

    It’s nice.

    Sure, sometimes the meetings are dull if no one has anything to share, but at least you don’t have to put up with or pay the egotistical insecure showman up front and on stage.

    YMMV

    Like

    • chaidrinkingfool says:

      😮

      “…the egotistical insecure showman up front and on stage.”

      Wow. You nailed it. This has not *always* been my experience, but it certainly was in the church I’ve described here.

      I am indeed planning a visit to a local meeting of Friends (Quakers) soon.

      Like

  7. EricW says:

    Anyway, here is my earlier post without all the links:

    Between this Website and Christa Brown’s book This Little Light

    stopbaptistpredators.blogspot.com

    stopbaptistpredators.org/index.htm

    it’s time to resurrect this 1960′s-era poster

    anothermother.org/wp-content/themes/AnotherMother/images/masthead_poster.gif

    with a new message:

    “Baptist Churches are not healthy for women and children and other living things”

    Like

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