Are our church leaders an abusive spouse?

“Unless someone holds him accountable, he’s likely to become more abusive. Men who abuse believe they have the right to control their partners. We call it entitlement. They believe they have rights women don’t have, and are entitled to have their way, to be served by their women, and to dictate their partner’s behavior.”

“Some men use the Bible, God, or the church to justify their behavior, and others claim special rights because they make the money or because they are the man of the house.” Quoted from page 142 of Behind the Hedge by Waneta Dawn. 

Unless someone HOLDS THEM ACCOUNTABLE.  They are likely to become more abusive.

 “Men who choose to control their spouses, are more likely to increase their demands if their partners are yielding.  At first the men may appear satisfied, but in time they raise the bar and demand more. And sometimes they totally change the rules.”  (Behind the Hedge)

We were submitting, and nobody was doing anything about the Danvers Statement or the fact that women can’t preach or be a deacon.  There were a few blogs, and a complaint here and there.  So why did Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary drag out the Danvers Statement on Biblical Manhood and Biblical Womanhood and adopt it October 29, 2009?

Is it because our religious leaders are becoming more abusive?

What will they bring out next?  And will we take it? What will your church do?  What will they expect  you to kneel down to?  How will you know if your church, or a seminary, is becoming more abusive?

The Freedom for Christian Women’s Coalition is holding them accountable.  We are holding our churches accountable, the Council on Biblical Manhood and Biblical Womanhood accountable, and the Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary in Fort Worth, Texas, and all those who seek to subdue women, we are holding accountable.


About bwebaptistwomenforequality

Shirley Taylor writes with humor and common sense, challenging the church body to reclaim equality for Christian women.
This entry was posted in Demand for an Apology from the CBMW and tagged , , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to Are our church leaders an abusive spouse?

  1. Paula says:

    Good question! Enablement/entitlement, for sinners, is never a good thing.


  2. Lydia says:

    So women are accountable to men in the masculinist world but who are they accountable to? The “pastor” who does not live with them and only see’s their good side at church?

    That is why believers are accountable to each other but led by the Holy Spirit. Jesus Christ is our authority in the Body and marriage.

    Telling men they are in authority over women is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenagers.


    • I like your last paragraph. I think this authority has gone to their head, and they are demanding more and more submission. Actually, I think there is a sexual element involved here, as they seem to get some kind of pleasure out of telling women to submit. They need to look to their hearts and examine why they are so hung up on submissive wives. I told one SBC president that they wanted us to be Stepford wives, and I still believe that is what they want. Harsh? Not as harsh as how they portray women who want equality.


    • Paula says:

      Not only giving teens whiskey and car keys, but then saying “Use them responsibly, cuz it ain’t my fault if anything bad happens.”

      CBMW et al try to absolve themselves of any responsibility for how people carry out their teachings, but it’s no different than this illustration with teens. CBMW hands men a license to rule as despots and then says “Don’t use it unkindly”.


  3. Lydia says:

    I have always maintained there is a underlying sexual element to comp teaching. Why else would there be a ‘spiritual’ focus with a pink and blue Christianity….. when Paul wrote that “IN CHRIST” there is no male nor female.

    So why all the focus on “spiritual” gender roles?


  4. Lydia says:

    Read the whole article.

    There are quite few knuckledraggers in the comments, of course.


    • Paula says:

      I tried to comment there but it never went through. Anyway, there seem to be enough voices of sanity to represent the egal view adequately.

      Knuckledraggers is right!


  5. Lydia says:

    A response to the article by the editor of CBMW Journal. Again, he defends his beliefs on the basis of “creation order”.

    (Which would also mean that squash are more important than cows in the ‘chain of being’ creation order)


  6. Mara says:

    That’s funny.
    Today I just put up a post about making up new commands and new sins.

    Seems the ten commandments of Moses and the two great commandments of Jesus aren’t enough. Men have to add to the list of dos and don’ts and make special sins unique to women.


  7. territippins says:

    Some colorful adjectives and phrases used after the statement was made public.

    scremmin meemies
    men haters
    power hungry
    act like teenage drama queens
    Silly women (1 Tim. 3:6)
    one blogger said that ‘those women are probably so uncomely that it takes two men and a boy to look at them’.

    And it’s only just begun.


    • Wow! I missed all those expressions made by leadership Male Headship, patriarchs! Thanks for sharing them with us. Lets see. Feminists is the opposite of Maculinists, which is what they are. Why aren’t men who demand control called women haters? Power hungry men call women ugly names to keep their control and power. As for as being uncomely – well, I can’t see his mirror, but if his actions reflect him, he is pretty bad looking himself. Why have we put up with this stuff?


  8. Paula says:

    I’m surprise we haven’t heard Jezebel yet.


  9. Paula says:

    Ladies, get a load of this:

    Xenophon is doing the old “male/female brain” dance. My eyes won’t stop rolling, help me! 😛


  10. Paula says:

    Jane, you have spelled out the hard reality facing the egal movement. So many want to dialog and compromise in the name of an external “peace”. But when you tell them these hard truths, and show them the foul underbelly of the beast, they recoil in horror– not at the evil, but at the nerve of egals to expose it!

    I have lost count of the number of women, even egals, who have thrown me in the street for being too blunt, for refusing to compromise an inch. I call them ‘cannibals’ because they devour their own.

    I only go to these male-stroking blogs to show people the way out, but it’s up to them to go or not. But the “churches” will never get another dime of my money, and the control freaks (no matter how nice they seem) will never get a kind word from me. I hate all the evil being done in Jesus’ name!

    Meanwhile, we need to start our own fellowships. And like the political Tea Party, we need to firmly renounce all attempts at organizational levels, because that’s the way to steer the masses. All Satan needs is the ones at the top. We need to stick closely to scripture, and first of all to make sure the scripture we use is as unpolluted as possible.

    We need to stop waiting for men to help us, too. If we truly are what we say we are in Christ, then let us show the comps what a real Body of Christ looks like.


    • Apparently he didn’t do anything but write a blog about it. I would have heard about it if he had actually done this at the SBC. Well, maybe a group of women in Florida actually had the guts to do something. Thanks for letting me know about this. Really appreciagte it.


    • Rev McKissic made this motion at the SBC Convention in June in Orland, Florida – that Article III of the SBC Constitution be amended to say that “among churches not in cooperation with the Convention are churches which act to affirm, approve, or endorse … racial discrimination,” submitted by Dwight McKissic, pastor of Cornerstone Baptist Church in Arlington, Texas. He did not make the motion or resolution about affirming women. Or at least that I can find on the Southern Baptist Convention reports.


      • Paula says:

        Racial discrimination…

        Race and sex are genetic qualities.
        It is wrong to discriminate on the basis of race because it is a genetic quality.
        It is therefore also wrong to discriminate on the basis of sex.

        What part of this simple logic escapes them? And I’ve already debunked any excuses they might have to abandon slavery but not male supremacy.


  11. Paula says:


    And I’m shocked– shocked, I tell you!– to learn that a pathological liar is also sexist. And that his followers think it’s funny to mock women.


  12. Jane says:

    see above, look sorry i put so much info here,

    when you get time [yea excuse some of the more uh colorful language, these are secular women but hey, what they have to say/esp in comments section is right one and EYE OPENING], because I remember when the men and here’s the shocker, 70% of them were GOOD OLE BOY CHRISTIAN PATRIARCHS FROM BOTH FUNDIES AND MAINSTREAM who were attacking these all women blogs over every issue from abortion, birth control [which yea kind of expect that one] but what got me, was HOW MANY OF THESE MEN ATTACKED

    ON ISSUES OF RAPE, A WOMAN’S RIGHT TO SAY NO, against porn, against forced labor, etc., and I spent years reading the comments from the very likes of gender role fanatics [Taliban style religion] and you know, yea…

    when you get time, read, some very good info because THIS is really, the mentality you are dealing with [from the men] and THESE women have faced it head on, some esp those fighting porn, were even sent rape threats…WAR is nasty,

    if you’re going to Fight war–you really have to know what you’re in for. Because it really should not SHOCK ANYONE, what these men are saying–not at all.

    The stronger the movement of women becomes, the more the fangs come out in the men–and the women sad to say [I call them the brown shirts] who will also come in to police–

    right now they’re doing the ‘use the insults’ to shut the whiney women up…that’s their mentality–IF they see you get a larger group and yea esp any type of Women’s Space or Ministry outside their control–then you’ll begin to see what These women, have been dealing with FROM THESE VERY SAME MEN/MANY OF THEM for DECADES.



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